Saturday, January 16, 2016

Where Our Worth Comes From

I can't begin to explain how good it feels to sit down and write a post again. My heart is beating fast as I'm typing and I'm wondering how this is going to come out so bear with me. I have been SO busy lately and this is just one of the many things I have put off. The Lord has been restoring old passions inside of me and for some time now I've felt called to come back to blogging. School had been so overwhelming and I want to be consistent with it so thats why I didn't start back sooner. This semester shouldn't be so hard on me, so hopefully I can stick with it. Of course I want this blog to be about beauty, makeup, and skincare, but about inward beauty as well so you should expect to see posts on all of those topics. I've had a lot stirring on the inside of me, and I feel like I have a lot write about.

Now, let me give a little back story on why I felt the need to write this post...
I am at the point in my life where I need to focus on the future. I'm looking and applying for jobs, trying to figure out how I'm going to make money, where I'm going to live, how I'm going to put my dreams and passions into my work life so I don't hate my job... you know, important decisions. I've applied and interviewed for 3 jobs so far all of which have been big fat NOs. I've heard over and over "we've been fortunate enough to have many qualified applicants" and blah blah blah, basically the nice way of saying you didn't get the job. You get to a point where you start to think "I guess I'm not good enough," or "Apparently the others were better than me," or "I suck at interviewing." After I heard the most recent "no" I  began to cry. After a while I realized that I wasn't crying necessarily because I didn't get that particular job (I actually don't want that kind of job, but that's another story for another time), but it was because I felt like I wasn't good enough to get one.
I know my worth is not found in getting a certain job, or what these people think of me based on the 20 minutes they talked to me, but it's hard not to stress/worry and to rid myself of those thoughts when you're continually told no. It's an ongoing battle to remind myself that my worth comes from God and God alone. He is the one who holds my future and has a job and a place just for me. These verses remind me how much I am worth to Him and that I will always be taken care of.

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." Luke 12:6-7

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more worth than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Matthew 6:25-34

I have to tell myself that God knows where I'm supposed to be, so why would he open a door I'm not supposed to walk through? I don't want to be somewhere I shouldn't be doing something I probably don't want to be doing anyway. I know he has a perfect plan for my life and I remember Jeremiah 29:11. So after a little hurt pride from hearing no, I'm going to switch my focus to my worth in him and his perfect plan for me. Any time I hear no I have to brush it off and think "Tori, this isn't for you." I know that I will find where I'm supposed to be fulfilling my destiny in Him.

So, for all of you who are in a time of NO, don't let that define your worth, or make you feel like you're not good enough. Remember that He is working on your behalf and will open the door for you when the right thing comes along.
This post may have been a little all over the place, but this story isn't over and it's not only about my worth, but my identity, destiny, and purpose. Stay tuned!


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